To the Moon and Back

Never ever trust an accomplished famous person who says in an interview:

Every day is an exciting opportunity to be creative. I have a strong work ethic. I just don’t get depressed.

This goes double for any formerly regular individual who is profiled because of something awful that they recently endured.

Each second is precious now. It can all get taken from you in a moment – in my case it almost did. So I appreciate friends, family, even the ants on my front stoop. Everything, all of it, is good.

Oh. Please. Make it stop.

Some days (or weeks) are just tiring or even awful. Like the seasons, life runs in cycles. (Note: I just realized I sounded like one of those two I quoted above. Yikes!). There’s nothing wrong with admitting you’re a bit tired, burnt out or even sad. Yes – there are works of art waiting to be created that you can start right now but chocolate and potato chips and reruns of your favorite bad reality show feel a lot better right now. Each of them tastes good. And even if you’re not devouring them, somehow it just feels reassuring to know that they’re there to take a bite of whenever you want. Which inevitably will lead to a meal, who are we kidding? But, as we’ve already concluded, it’s okay to down that, or even be down with the idea of it. No one’s advocating it as a way of life – tempting as that might be at any given moment when you don’t feel like taking on the world.

This week was one of those weeks for me. No particular reason. Though I would like to blame it on the government shutdown brought to you by the childish temper tantrums of ultra right wing America. Yes, I drink a lot of green tea – which is good for your digestion and is supposed to be restorative – but long ago I recognized this simple fact:

Life is not a Tea Party, nor will it, or should it, ever be.

It’s OK when things boil over

By the way, there is nothing at all wrong with thinking this way – politically or as a life philosophy. If it’s all good then you’re forced to believe things like cancer and Sarah Palin moose hunting and peas and carrots in a can have to be put on the positive list. And we all know that’s just plain dumb. At least as dumb as one of the other two live things listed above (and I don’t mean the moose).

So what to do? Well, there’s this world out there that most of the entire greater world is obsessed with. That world is appropriately called: entertainment. And, call me crazy (which many have and presumably are still yet to do), this week there was a lot to choose from.

I’m all for creativity, psychotherapy, hanging out with friends and overindulging with food or your _________ of choice to a point. But if you’re one of the gazillions of people out there who still like a good new-fashioned movie, TV show or, well, other diversions, know this: summer is over and a bunch of new stuff is available for any one over 18 needing to escape a little. (Note: Those under 18 – I’m not including you here because everything else in the world of entertainment caters to you. Still, if you want to sneak a peak at any of this stuff, I can’t stop you. Just like I can’t stop you from posting a photo of your cat doing pushups on Instagram).

In any event, here is a small but select list of what can get you through.

GRAVITY

Believe the hype but cut it in half so your expectations won’t be too high. At a taut 91 minutes, Gravity is one of those movies that you’re sure is going to bore or disappoint you but somehow manages to get under your skin and stay there – in a great way.

There will be no spoilers here but as you can probably tell from the poster, Sandra Bullock plays a woman up in space that…well, that’s all you need to know. Yes, there are lots of shots of stars, sky and things being weightless. However, these are all done in service of something quite unusual in this genre of film – a story, and a small one at that.

The innovation here is that small doesn’t have to mean bad in the age of the major studio blockbusters. Small can be large in terms of excitement, emotion and box-office dollars as this creation from the director Alfonso Cauron and his son, Jonas, who co-wrote the screenplay, proves.

Not interested in space or the space program, you say? No problem. Here’s how uninterested I am and have always been in the space program. When Neil Armstrong became the first man to walk on the moon in 1968 and all of America was kvelling about one of our guys becoming #1 before the world, do you know what little 12-year-old me was doing? Sitting alone in the playground of my apartment building looking down at the dirt. Yes, you heard me. I did this because I felt quite strongly that the U.S. should not be spending millions of dollars in space when funds were being cut in this country for the underprivileged at the same time we were supporting an unjust war in Vietnam. If the US government didn’t care enough about the innocents we were killing overseas and our fellow human beings we were turning our backs on in our own country, I would under no circumstances support a macho adventure to unknown parts of the universe that seemed to cater to the testosterone driven needs of us having to be first just so we could have universal bragging rights. So I sat in the playground and pretended I was nowhere. And each time anyone brought up or asked me about where I was or what I thought of the moon landing I said my piece. (Surprise!). Obviously, I still am.

Clearly, I was Lisa Simpson.

Though I probably would do it all over again exactly the same way, Gravity made me feel like I was making up for what everyone says I missed. Finally, I was not only in space but was more in the actual minds of people who bravely go into those unknown frontiers rather than in the company of the relentless patriot drumbeat of the US patriarchy. The latter is the kind of group that used to like to make fun of me in school that I would do anything to not be around. It’s probably why I was indifferent to the last big space astronaut space movie of our time, The Right Stuff, and why for me Gravity soared. (Note: See the wordplay I did there?)

Plus – prediction: Gravity will win best picture and Sandra Bullock will win best actress. Sorry Cate Blanchet in Blue Jasmine and apologies 12 Years A Slave, the latter of which I have not yet seen. You just get a feeling about these things.

AMERICAN HORROR STORY: COVEN

In its third season, AHS is like the ex-lover you vow never again to let in your house but the one who you always wind up in bed with when you’re lonely. Yet with AHS it’s become more than a booty call. It has graduated to something dependable to which a new name should be attributed. Use your imagination. Or better yet, don’t even question it.

After a first season where a mysterious man in a rubber suit seduces any number of people around him, and a second season where Jessica Lange got to sing and dance The Name Game along with all of the rest of the inmates in the Asylum, I was unsure how much further or more imaginative they could get. Have no fear – Kathy Bates has come to the rescue as a Civil War era torturess conjured up from the past by The Supreme. No, that’s not Diana Ross or Mary Wilson but the most all-powerful of witches in the secret coven of 2013 witches. These witches don’t have a pointed hats or wars though they do occasionally wear black. They are like the cast and audience of a Kardashian family reality show. And their Supreme is none other than, whom else – Ms. Lange herself.

Is this brilliant TV? No. Is this great TV? Yes, YES, YES.

It’s grotesque, politically incorrect, nightmarish and shamelessly campy. And – I wouldn’t miss a minute of it. Neither should you.

SHORT TERM 12

The real deal

This year’s little movie that could. I’m not sure what it means for a movie to have rottentomatoes positive scores of 99% from movie critics and 94% from movie audiences but it must be something good. A good rule of thumb is to not put too much stock in these ratings but in this case – well, after watching the film you’ll see how right and rare it is when audiences and movie critics agree.

ST12 tells the story of a young couple who work at a facility for discarded adolescents from the juvenile system who live in housing on a temporary basis and receive counseling and participate in support groups in order to help them through the sad circumstances of their lives. So why rush out to something so depressing, particularly if you are feeling down, tired or just randomly depressed? Because there is something rare and affirming about briefly living stories about young people told in a true, honest and non-movie like way on a small canvas by mostly non-stars. You might recognize Brie Larson and John Gallagher Jr. from television or film as the young couple but chances are you will be blown away by how many unknown teenage actors there are who can really act when given the material to do so. For that the credit goes to its neophyte filmmaker, Destin Daniel Cretton – whose next movie will be a major studio film starring Jennifer Lawrence. See – even the film business can occasionally be fair.

It should be encouraging to those aspiring to follow in the footsteps of Mr. Cretton to learn that the low-budget ST12 began life as a short film and then was expanded into feature script that no one really cared about until it won one the Motion Picture Academy’s prestigious Nicholl Fellowships in screenwriting. The Lesson: don’t give up – keep getting better.

HBO’s Valentine Road

Sometimes when I’m out of sorts it helps me to get infuriated at the injustices in the world – the stories of people I can identify with who’ve had it far, far worse than I. To some extent this was the case in Short Term 12, but to every extent this is what it’s like to watch the HBO documentary Valentine Road.

In 2008, an eighth grader named Lawrence King was shot and murdered in point blank range by his classmate, 14-year-old Brandon McInerney in front of a bunch of students. Does it matter than young Mr. King identified as gay and liked to wear women’s clothes while the classmate who killed him was leaning towards White Supremacy, guns and had a troubled family life? Some of the jury tasked with ruling on the murder clearly thought so even as this film by Marta Cunningham leaves us to decide by as much as possible presenting both sides.

As a gay man of a certain age it outraged me to see how callous and ignorant a group of educated adults in Oxnard, CA – a neighborhood just outside my adopted hometown of Los Angeles – can be on lgbt issues and just how sympathetic and self-identifying they can be towards a young person who uses bullets instead of conversation in order to fight back against unwanted attention from an lgbt youth. At times, I couldn’t help but flashback to the too common gay panic defense used decades ago by defendants accused of murdering homosexuals. But then I checked my Filofax (yes, I still use one – get over it!) calendar and realized it’s not 1953 but 2013. Wow, is there still a lot of work to do.

And on the other side of the spectrum – when you can’t sleep and need a non-pharmaceutical dose of the drowsy, there is:

Up Late with Alec Baldwin

I’m guessing there’s coffee in those mugs because.. snoooooze

Granted, I still haven’t gotten over his abusively hideous phone message to his young daughter several years ago even though his daughter has. Which is not shocking since I’m still complaining about the 1968 moon landing. Still, I along with everyone else loved Mr. Baldwin on 30 Rock. Plus, as a dangerously obsessive fan of too many MSNBC shows (yeah, Rachel, Alex, Chris M. & Chris H. – you complete me) I figured – let’s give Alec a chance. Like me, he’s a liberal and unlike me he gets paid truckloads of money to be funny while evoking smart and generally entertaining. What could be bad?

Everything, that’s what. Oy vey.

Seated at a banquette on a set made to look like the kind of wood-paneled men’s club in NYC in the sixties that most of you readers would never get invited to, Mr. Baldwin is only missing his cigarettes and scotch. Which frankly, I wish he would have had because either might have loosened him up and given us the AB we’ve grown to love and sometimes even lovingly hate. In any case, either of those are AB’s we’re never, ever, ever bored by.

It’s only one episode so perhaps it will improve but right now we’re talkin’ snooze fest. He spent an hour interviewing one of the more interesting NYC mayor candidates in recent memory, Bill de Blasio and made him seem as exciting as Ben Stein interviewing himself on an off day.

If you’re expecting Jack Donaghy, forget it – Mr. Baldwin now wants to be taken seriously. He’s striving to be Charlie Rose but we want him to be Madame Rose (Note: that’s a Gypsy reference) taking us on a slightly eccentric tour of the world of politics and entertainment. He instead seems bent on participating in a wonky policy discussion on raising taxes and funding education, all the while presenting his own ideas on what might work and not work alongside a real insider. This would be akin to watching Mr. de Blasio trade comedic barbs with Tina Fey or 20 years ago starring on Broadway shirtless, as Mr. Baldwin did, opposite a pre-witchy Jessica Lange in A Streetcar Named Desire. Okay, perhaps not quite that, but certainly a dull, dull, dull attempt at something that does not lend itself to his ample skills.

I might tune in next week when AB interviews Debra Winger but only because, well – how often do you get to see Debra Winger anywhere anymore???

And finally – if all else fails – I, and you, might just tune in to any:

RANDOM NEWS SHOWS

Given where we are right now, this will never cease to be entertaining.

Timely random items this week included:

Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia proclaiming the Devil really exists.

Congresswoman Michele Bachmann, who sits on the House INTELLIGENCE Committee, telling an interviewer, on television and in public, that the biblical End of Times is upon us and that Pres. Obama is an open Al Qaeda sympathizer.

Congressman & House Majority Leader John Boehner, presiding over the current government shutdown of things like the Head Start Program, our national parks, and various veterans benefits while deeming the Congressional gym an essential service that must remain open.

Ben Carson, an African American man, an ultra right wing speechifier, a retired neurosurgeon, and a recipient of the Presidential Medal of Freedom (you can thank Dubya for that), this week calling Obamacare (nee the Affordable Care Act): the worst thing to happen in this nation since slavery.

With tidbits like those, you don’t need Gravity to send you to the moon. Or space travel of any kind to make it feel like you live in a parallel universe. Sometimes, what’s right in front of you, is all too punny enough.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtFBRJFN3p8

10.06.13

by notesfromachair

Make it work

If politicians were more like screenwriters there would not be a power outage in Washington, D.C. They’d make it work.. and the government would be up and running – and running well.

Okay, no one has ever argued that screenwriters have, or even know about, any real power in Hollywood. In fact, public lore is that the antithesis is true. There’s a very old misogynist or racist joke where you can fill in the blank with the nasty reference of your choice:

Did you hear about the (ethnicity/race/creed) actress? She f—d the screenwriter.

I am not proud of repeating this. And certainly nowadays you could change the word actress to actor, thereby making it slightly less misogynist with the same result. But like most writers, there is a method to what is clearly the madness of my premise here.

The power of being a screenwriter, or any kind of writer, has to do with smarts and intellect. That is not to say every writer is smart. Certainly not every screenwriter is. I mean, have you ever seen Pearl Harbor? Or Transformers 2?

Smartest person in the room? Preach, Jane, preach.

Still, smart is relative. Those writers got paid a lot of money for that work, more than you or I probably make in a year. And it should also be noted that neither you or I saw the original writer’s drafts of either – they could have been brilliant.

The point is that after decades of doing different things in the business, including before screenwriting, and even some additional things after, I can safely say that the writer is ALWAYS among the smartest people in the room. This does not mean the wisest, the richest, the most successful, the most enviable OR, most importantly, the most beautiful. In fact, seldom do any of those apply. But smart, most definitely. If you don’t think so – try putting an array of approximately 300 words on 110-120 pages that make people want to invest millions of dollars and then get back to me.

smart adjective \ˈsmärt\

: very good at learning or thinking about things

: showing intelligence or good judgment

Smart does not necessarily equate with power, which is a shame since if that were the case you’d have a lot more good movies to go to this weekend. But even the most egocentric studio/corporation (is there any difference?) head will turn to writers when they have to make a speech. As do most, if not all, politicians.

At a recent WGA panel, Kevin Bleyer, a writer for The Daily Show and The Simpsons, admitted upon questioning that he’s written some of Pres. Obama’s best speeches in the last several years. Imagine then, what he or a roomful of any working (or used to be working) screenwriters could do about ending the government shutdown in Washington D.C. I mean, who better than a writer to create something from nothing?

I don’t mean to say that as a writer I alone would have the smarts to figure this all out. But I would bet money that a very small room of writers could. Because there are certain lessons we’ve had to learn over the years in order to survive. These lessons are awful, difficult, gut wrenching and soul crushing. But, in the end, they, along with our jobs, are what make us the go-to problems solvers when it comes to creating a final product that, on some basic level, FUNCTIONS.

I will now share some of those lessons (eleven to be exact). Hopefully somebody in Washington DC, – and preferably more than one body – is reading. And listening.

IF YOU DON’T MEET YOUR DEADLINE – YOU’RE FIRED!

It’s pretty simple. You contract with someone or something to do a project over a specific amount of time. Then you do the work, you hand it in and you get paid. (Note: Studios try to drag out their payments to you well beyond those deadlines but that’s why you have attorneys – who can be smart but mostly are cleverly manipulative).

Deadlines can be extended but only to a point if you plan to get the result you want. As a writer that result is seeing your work become a reality – in other words made or ENACTED. The sad truth you know is that when you hand your work in it will already take forever – meaning longer than a week or a day – for anyone to read it and much, much longer than that for the group (or groups) to reach a decision on whether to make (nee enact) it.

That’s why you always get it done. You’re smart enough to know that your work is the engine and how persistent you and your team can be in pushing your work along is what powers it. So you ALWAYS work to a specific time frame not only to speed up the process but to forever have the reputation as THE person who knows how to get the job done.

IF YOU DON’T DO THE WORK YOU ARE REPLACED

You can’t decide NOT TO WORK. Well, you can but then you won’t get anywhere. And that is not an acceptable outcome to a working writer.

Doing the work is quite different from going on strike when you don’t like the result of the work, the rules or the people you work for and with. That is separate than the work. That is about your rights and the future and is equally important. But you never confuse it with your work and the job you were hired (meaning are being paid money) for or choose to do.

YOU COMPROMISE

You don’t want to compromise. Who does? But you know that if you don’t give even a little in the end you get nothing. And when you get nothing you don’t get paid. And you don’t get any attention – at least the positive kind. Not that that’s the be all or end all but still…

You also don’t get to feel fulfilled. When you started as a writer you thought you’d feel fulfilled by not changing anything one iota to anyone else’s specifications. But then you learned the hard way that not everyone is an idiot with stupid ideas. Only most people.

YOU DON’T ALIENATE YOUR AUDIENCE

I’m looking at you, M. Knight

If you look down, talk down, or lie to your audience they will hate you. Especially when you are exposed – which is inevitable. You learned long ago that even though you publicly say you couldn’t give a crap about what people think, deep down you really do want to be loved – or at least liked – or at least understood. It’s part of the reason you entered this crazy business despite what you offer publicly.

You also, very occasionally, want to change the world or you would’ve done something easier like raising elephants or making artisnal mustard in Brooklyn. You cannot change the world if your actions cause your audience to not like you. Yes, this assumes you want to change the world for the better. But if writers wanted to be a dictator over millions they would’ve entered a profession that gave them some power – not one where they spread their smarts worldwide. (Note: This might be an area where a politician’s motives differ but let’s throw caution to the wind and give them the benefit of the doubt).

YOU COLLABORATE

If you have a vision and are so absolutely stubborn about it to the point of zero compromise you might create exactly what you think you want but it will not be as good as it could be. It pains you, in particular to admit this because, as we’ve established, you are the smartest person in the room. The sad irony, though, is that this also makes you smart enough to realize that — YOU DON’T KNOW EVERYTHING!

Therefore, you deal with and listen to people you can’t stand and might not respect because you know that stupid old adage of even a broken clock is right twice a day wouldn’t have been in the vernacular for centuries if it didn’t hold a grain of truth. You also secretly know that some of your best ideas came from someone else via suggestion or inspiration – as did their ideas – and the ideas of those before them. Any writer who has even been given notes or endured reaction to a script realizes this and is very aware that if someone makes a suggestion that sounds good, even in passing, and it inspires enough to be used, it is not stealing – it is homage. And employing that particular strategy will, in the long run, be to your benefit.

YOU DON’T RENEG ON OR CHANGE A DEAL

In Michelle we trust

The above is the purview of production companies and studios who are rich and powerful and often monolithic. Meaning they are big and quite forceful and can outspend you by gazillions if you choose to fight on their terms. They also have a lot more manpower to use against you if you decide to go to war in this way. You are intelligent enough to know that you don’t possess any of their weaponry and that even if you did it would not get you the outcome you desire because you are only one person. If anything, playing the game their way will hand the other side the win.

So you strategize and look for weaknesses of theirs that are exploitable on the given playing field. Chief among them is the fact that they are inflexible and tend to resemble a single block of stone with about as much intellect as the latter. You are lithe – quicksilver and creative. You don’t need to cheat. You can work with the tools available and figure out practical solutions because it’s a requirement of your job. You are also well aware that deep down you would really rather take the high road because, unlike those bigger entities, you have to look yourself in the mirror at the beginning and end of each day. You also know that the better you are at recognizing humanity the better you’ll be at doing your job. (Note: The mirror part assumes you brush your teeth and moisturize – both of which you should do).

YOU DON’T COMPLAIN

You know how hard you work but you also know you’re not a coal miner. You get paid to sit in a room and be funny or heartfelt. It’s not brain surgery. Besides, these days no one likes to see people who make more than a livable wage bitch and moan about anything.

It might seem counterintuitive to read about writers who don’t bellyache. So let’s get real about the complaining part. You still might fall back into bad behavior and whine but as a working professional you learned long ago that this will not get you anywhere and will, in fact, hurt you. Especially if you do it publicly or in an obnoxious manner. Or within earshot of anyone you hope to continue to work with. Or for.

NO ONE wants to hear about how difficult it is to sit in a room where you have food, water, air-conditioning, a computer and access to the web. (Note: For politicians, add staff). In the scheme of what one is forced to deal with in life, this is not looked at as extremely taxing or even particularly challenging. It’s what every single human being in the world does at least several times a day – and often without air-conditioning. So – SHUT UP! At least publicly. And especially on open mikes. (Note: Yes Senators Rand Paul and Mitch McConnell – we’re talking to you).

GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORTABLE CRIB

If you hang out with only the same old people who think the same old things you will have nothing interesting to write about. Worse – you will be even less interesting. This goes triple for politicians.

There also comes a point where every writer runs out of things they can prostitute from their own, insular life. You are required to get out in the world if for no other reason than you need more material. You also realize that if you spend too much time alone in your thoughts you will become crazy. The latter is a big minefield of the profession and not one that is easily circumvented since you are being paid, or perhaps just spiritually rewarded (see: young writers), for being a thinker.

It is inevitable that at a writer must travel – physically and/or emotionally – to places he or she does not want to be and with people he or she does not want to be with. And to observe, learn and occasionally admit their ideas about this place, state of mind or persons was wrong. This should be a requirement of everyone’s professional life. Especially politicians.

LIMIT PUBLIC SPEAKING

Keep it down.

If you’re often right and smart enough to know you are, you resist constantly shoving it in people’s faces. Everyone wants to feel right sometimes and no one wants to be proven wrong all the time – especially by you. Therefore, you speak out publicly when you need to but you limit your exposure accordingly. And – you listen. As Oprah once wisely stated, the biggest thing she learned doing her television show is that everyone wants to be heard. That means everyone – not just you. No one likes a wiseacre. Or at least someone who keeps reminding us they are.

YOU REALLY SHOULDN’T HAVE A PRICE

Unless you are starving, you will not work or be bought for ANY price because you are aware of the consequences since you once did that when you were younger and it took you double the amount of years to get over the slimy lies and horrible feelings of self-loathing over the whole thing. If neither of the above happens right now you can still be assured that if you give in to temptation one day those golden handcuffs will eventually wrap around you to claim what’s left of your soul. Only then it will be too late to realize that you can indeed be trapped inside of a box of your very own design, condemned to a loop of Michael Bay movies – or whatever else passes as your own personal hellish equivalent.

WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS – GO BACK TO YOUR IDEALS

Only you know the reason you got into this game and if you’re like everyone else on earth – which YOU ARE – it probably has to do with the best and younger you. For those with no soul, this will not work. But I am willing to wager that on the whole, even among politicians, there is more of the former than the latter. Take it from someone who teaches young people and is around young people all the time. And who writes

So… did you get all that, Washington? If not, I’m sure eventually Aaron Sorkin will explain it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ADh8Fs3YdU

notes from a chair

Monthly Archives: October 2013

To the Moon and Back

Make it work